【Perez公器私用練英文081】來自煉獄的男孩：安東尼的人生故事

【Perez公器私用練英文081】來自煉獄的男孩：安東尼的人生故事 The Boy From Hell

原文網址：https://www.theplayerstribune.com/posts/antony-brazil-world-cup-soccer-premier-league-manchester-united

發佈時間：2022/11/15

原文作者：Antony

I was born in hell. That’s not a joke. For my European friends who don’t know, the favela where I grew up in São Paulo is actually called Inferninho — “little hell.”

我在地獄誕生。我不是在玩笑話。向我不清楚的歐洲朋友們說明，那座在聖保羅市中我所成長的的貧民窟，實際上就被稱呼為「猛鬼窟」(葡萄牙文)——英文中的「小地獄」。

If you really want to understand me as a person, then you must understand where I am from. My history. My roots. Inferninho. 

如果你真的想從一個有血有肉的人的層面了解我，那你必須知道我來自哪裡。

我的歷史、我的根源。

猛鬼窟。

It is an infamous place. Fifteen steps from our front door, there were always drug dealers doing their business, passing stuff hand-to-hand. The smell was constantly outside our window. Actually, one of my first memories is my father getting up from the couch on a Sunday and going to yell at the guys to walk down the street a little bit and leave us in peace, because his kids were inside trying to watch the football match. 

那是個惡名昭彰的地方。走出我們家前門十五步，藥頭們常常在那裡做交易，手把手的「給好貨」。毒品的味道在我家窗口始終揮散不去。實際上，我的童年回憶裡，其中一幕就是爸爸禮拜天從沙發上起身，吆喝著要求那些傢伙往街底走遠些，好讓我們可以過得寧靜一些，因為他的孩子正在裡頭試著觀看足球賽。

We were so used to seeing guns that it was not even scary. They were just a part of everyday life. We were more scared of the police knocking down our door. One time, they invaded our house looking for someone and they came running in screaming. They found nothing, of course. But when you’re so young, those moments mark you. 

我們對於看到槍械早早見怪不怪。那就是我們生活習以為常的一部分。相比之下，我們更害怕的是警察來敲門。有一回，他們闖入我們家搜查某個人，奔跑入內、厲聲尖叫。當然，他們徒勞無功。但當時還年輕，那些片段會深深印銘在你的腦中。

Man, some of the things I have seen …. Only those who have lived it can understand. On my walk to school one morning, when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old, I came across a man laying in the alley. He was not moving. When I got closer, I realized he was dead. In the favela, you become kind of numb to these things. There was no other way to go, and I had to get to school. So I just closed my eyes and jumped over the dead body. 

老兄，我看過的某些事情......只有生在其中的人有可能了解。有天早上，在我8還是9歲的上學途中，我撞見了一個在躺在巷子裡的男人。

他一動也不動。

我湊近一看，我發現他已經死於非命。

在貧民窟中，你會對這類的事情變得麻木不仁。

上學沒有其他條路能走，而我得去上學。

於是，我閉上眼睛，用力跳過了那具死屍。

I am not saying this to sound tough. It was just my reality. In fact, I always say that I was very lucky as a child, because despite all of our struggles, I was given a gift from heaven. The ball was my savior. My love from the cradle. In Inferninho, we don’t care about toys for Christmas. Any ball that rolls is perfect to us. 

我說這些不是要讓我聽起來很猛。那是我的現實生活。實際上，我總說我作為一個孩子，非常幸運，因為儘管我們在困境中生存，我有著來自天堂的天賦。足球是我的救星，從搖籃中就是我的所愛。在猛鬼窟裡，我們才不在乎聖誕禮物。能滾的球，對我們來說，都是好球。

Every day, my older brother would take me to the square to play football. In the favela, everyone plays. Kids, old men, teachers, construction workers, bus drivers, drug dealers, gangsters. There, everyone is equal. In my father’s time it was a dirt pitch. In my time, it was asphalt. In the beginning, I played barefoot, on bleeding feet. We did not have money for proper shoes. I was small, but I dribbled with a meanness that came from God. Dribbling was always something inside me. It was a natural instinct. And I refused to bow my head to anyone. I would elastico the drug dealers. Rainbow the bus drivers. Nutmeg the thieves. I really did not give a f***. 

每一天，我哥會帶我去廣場踢球。貧民窟裡大家都在踢球。不分老少與職業，從老師到建築工，從巴士司機到藥頭跟幫派打手。在那裡，人人平等。我爸爸的年代還是泥土球場。而到我的時代，球場已經鋪上了瀝青。

剛開始的時候，我還是赤腳踢球，雙腳冒血。我們並沒有錢買適合的鞋子。我當時還小，但我的盤帶像是有著上帝的旨意。

盤球是我內建的能力。它像是與生俱來的本能。並且我拒絕向任何人低頭。我敢於左右飄移晃過藥頭、對著司機彩虹過人、對著小偷穿襠過人。我真幹你的才不管。

With a ball at my feet, I had no fear.

雙腳有球，我獨無懼。

I learned all the tricks from the legends. Ronaldinho, Neymar, Cristiano. I used to watch them on YouTube, thanks to my “uncle” Toniolo. He is not my blood uncle. He was our next door neighbor. But he treated me like family. When I was little, he used to let me steal his WiFi so I could go on YouTube and get my football education. He even gave me my first videogame. If Toniolo had two loaves of bread — it was one for him, the extra for us. This is what people don’t understand about the favela. For every one person doing bad, there’s two doing good. 

我從那些傳奇人物中學到這所有的技巧。小羅啊、內馬爾啊、C羅啊。感謝我的「叔叔」東尼歐羅，讓我在Youtube上觀賞他們。他不是我的親叔叔，而是我的隔壁鄰居，但他待我如己出。當我年紀還小，它讓我偷他們家的WiFi，讓我可以爬上Youtube，讓我完成我的足球教育。他甚至送了我我第一款電玩遊戲。如果東尼歐羅有兩條麵包—他會自己吃一條，給我們一條。這就是人們不會了解的貧民窟一面。每當有一人作惡，那裡就會有兩人行善。

I always say that I grew up in the wrong place, but with the right people. When I was 8 years old, I was playing in the square when the first angel crossed my path. This older guy was watching me doing my tricks against the gangsters like a crazy bastard. He turned to the other people watching. 

我常說，我在窮山惡水成長，但遇到了對的人。八歲時候，當我人生道路的天使出現時，我在廣場裡玩球。那位老者看我對著幫派打手們施展我的花招，像發了瘋的惡棍似的。

他轉身詢問其他觀眾。

“Who is the little kid??” 

「那個小小孩是誰？？」

“The kid? Antony.” 

「那個小孩啊？安東尼。」

It was the director of Grêmio Barueri. He gave me my first chance to leave the slum and play for their futsal team. So then I started dreaming. I remember one day I was walking with my mom when I saw this cool red car driving through our neighborhood. It was a Range Rover. But to me, it was like seeing a Ferrari. Everyone was looking at it. It was the shit, man. 

那位是格雷米奧巴魯埃里(巴西球隊)的總監。他給了我第一個離開貧民窟，並為他們五人制足球隊效力的機會。

從那時起，我的夢想開始啟程。我記得有一天我跟我媽走在路上，看到一台酷炫紅車從我們的社區開過。那是台Range Rover。但對當時的我，就像是看到一台法拉利似的。每個人都在張望著他。老兄，那就是個猛貨。

I turned to my mom and I said, “One day, when I’m a footballer, I’m going to buy that car.”

我轉身迎向我媽，我是這樣說的。

「有一天，當我成為足球員的時候，我會買下那台車。」

She laughed, of course. 

當然了，她大笑。

I was dead serious. 

我那時候認真的要死。

I said, “Don’t worry, after a while, I’ll let you drive it.”

我說：「別擔心，不久以後，我會讓你開它的。」

I would elastico the drug dealers. Rainbow the bus drivers. Nutmeg the thieves. I really did not give a f***. With a ball at my feet, I had no fear.
- Antony

我敢於左右飄移晃過藥頭、對著司機彩虹過人、對著小偷穿襠過人。我真幹你的才不管。—安東尼

Back then, I used to literally sleep in the bed between my parents. We didn’t have money for a bed just for me. Every night, I would turn to one side, and there was my dad. Turn to the other side, there was my mom. We were so close, and that’s what helped us survive. Then something happened that changed my life. 

回到當時，我還在我父母之間的床位睡覺。我們沒有買我的床的錢。每天晚上，我轉向一邊，看到我爸爸；轉向另一邊，看到我媽媽。我們的關係是如此緊密，而那是讓我們賴以為生的關鍵。而有些改變我人生的事情發生了。

When I was 11, my parents separated. It was the most difficult moment of my life, because at least before, we all had each other. Now, I would turn to my mom’s side of the bed in the middle of the night and she was gone. That was devastating, but it also gave me a lot of motivation. I used to close my eyes and think, “I am going to get us out of this.”

當我十一歲的時候，我的雙親離異了。那是我人生最艱難的時候，因為至少在以前，我們有著彼此扶持。但此刻，每當午夜我轉向床鋪上我媽媽睡得那一側時，卻已經人去床空。那很叫人萬念俱灰，但它也不斷地鞭策著我。當時我會閉著眼睛，想著。

「我要帶我們擺脫這一切。」

My father used to leave the house for work at 5 in the morning. He would return at 8 at night. I used to tell him, “Now, you are running for me. But soon, I will be running for you.”

我爸清晨五點就會出門工作。晚上八點才會回家。我當時這樣跟他說：「你現在為我奔波。但很快，我會為你奔跑。」

If you talk to the media, they always ask you about your dreams. The Champions League? The World Cup? The Ballon d’Or?

如果你被媒體採訪，他們的萬年問句是「你的夢想」。

是歐冠嗎？是世界盃嗎？是金球獎嗎？

Those are not dreams. Those are goals. My only dream was to take my parents out of the favela. There was no Plan B. I was going to make it or die trying. 

那些可不是「夢想」，是我的目前。我的唯一夢想是帶著我的雙親離開貧民窟。沒有Plan B。我要做到這件事情，或是至死方休。

At 14, I got my chance at São Paulo FC. Every day after school, I would travel to the academy on an empty stomach. Sometimes, if it was a good day, my teammates and I would pool our money together to buy a cookie for the bus ride back home. I did not have to pretend to be hungry for motivation. The hunger was real. 

十四歲時，我在聖保羅隊獲得了機會。每天放學後，我會空著肚子前往青訓學院。某些時候，如果良辰吉時，我跟隊友們會湊錢買餅乾，在回家的巴士途中吃。我不需要去假裝我對野心飢渴。那是貨真價實的飢渴。

Inside of me, there was an intensity — maybe you could say an anger. I had some problems with my emotions. Three different times, I was nearly dismissed from the club. I was on the list to be released. And three different times, someone at the club stuck up for me. They begged to keep me on. It was God’s plan. 

深層的我，藏著很強烈的情緒——你也可以或稱是一種「憤怒」。我的情緒控管有些問題。足足三次，我差點要被俱樂部解約。我在名列在釋出名單上。足足三次，總有俱樂部人員為我背書。他們乞求留我下來。這都是上帝旨意。

I was so skinny, but I always played with “blood in my eyes.” This is the kind of intensity that comes from the streets. You cannot fake it. People think I am lying when I tell them this, but even after I made my professional debut for São Paulo, I was still living in the favela. No, no — this is the truth — at 18, I was still sleeping in the bed with my dad. It was either that or the couch! We had no other choice. Man, even in 2019 when I scored the goal against Corinthians in the Paulista Final, I was right back in the neighborhood that night. People were pointing at me on the street. 

我當時骨瘦如柴，但我總是「殺紅了眼」的踢球。這是種從街頭足球帶來的情緒。無從偽造。當我這麼說時，人們總覺得我在說謊，但即使我在聖保羅一線隊初登場之後，我依然住在貧民窟裡。

不、不——真的啦——當我十八歲時，我還跟我爸一起睡。我只有這個選擇，不然就是睡沙發了！我們別無選擇，老兄，甚至我2019在聖保羅盃決賽打進對哥林多人的進球時，當晚我也是直接回到住處。街上的人們還對著我指指點點。

“I just saw you on TV. What are you doing here???”

「我才在電視上看到你。你在這幹嘛？？？」

“Brother, I live here.”

「哥。我住這裡啊。」

Everyone laughed. They did not believe it. 

大家都笑了，他們並不相信。

One year later, I was at Ajax, playing in the Champions League. That’s how fast things changed. I not only had my own bed, but the red Range Rover was in my mother’s driveway. I told her, “You see? I told you that I would conquer. And I conquered.”

一年之後，我在阿賈克斯踢歐冠。

滄海桑田，我不只有了自己的床，Range Rover也成了我媽媽的代步工具。我跟她說：「你看到了吧？我告訴你我能征服的，我征服了。」

Ash Donelon/Manchester United via Getty; Manchester United via Getty

When I told her that when I was 10, she laughed. 

當我十歲這麼說，她笑得開懷。

Now, when I remind her, she cries. 

如今，當我提醒她這件事情，她潸然淚下。

I went from the slums to Ajax to Manchester United in three years. People always ask me how I was able to “turn the key” so quickly. Honestly, it is because I feel no pressure on a football pitch. No fear. Fear? What is fear? When you grow up having to jump over dead bodies just to make it to school, you cannot be scared of anything in football. The things that I have seen, most football pundits can only imagine. There are things you cannot unsee. 

三年之間。我從貧民窟到阿賈克斯，再從阿賈克斯到了曼聯。人們總問我，我是怎麼「掌握機鑰」得那麽快。坦誠相告，那是因為我在足球場上從不感到壓力。

毫無所懼。恐懼？恐懼是什麼？當你的成長過程，光是求學就得跳過屍體，足球場上的一切都是雲淡風輕。我曾見過的種種，大多數的足球專家也只能望洋徒想。那些都是大家難以見證體會的事。

In life, we suffer enough. We worry enough. We cry enough.

一生當中，我們受了夠多苦了、擔了夠多驚了、掉了夠多淚了。

Sam Robles/The Players' Tribune

But in football? With a ball at your feet, you should only feel joy. I was born a dribbler. It is part of my roots. It is the gift that took me from the slums to the Theatre of Dreams. I will never change the way I play, because it is not a style, it is me. It is a part of me. A part of our story as Brazilians. If you just watch one 10 second clip of me, then you will not understand. Nothing I do is a joke. Everything has a purpose. To go forward with boldness, to strike fear into the opponent, to create space, to make a difference for my team. 

但在足球上？每當雙腳有球，你只會感受到喜悅。我生來就是盤帶手，那是根源我身的一部分。它是帶我從猛鬼的修羅場，到曼聯的夢劇場的一份禮物。我永遠不會改變我的踢法，因為那不是「風格」，那就是我，是我的一部分，一部分巴西人的共同故事。

那是如果你只看我的十秒剪輯影片永遠不會懂的事情。我的所作所為都不是玩笑，一切都有目的。大膽前行、把聞風喪膽種在對手的潛意識、創造空間、為我的球隊帶來變化。

If you think I’m just a clown, then you don’t understand my story. The art of Ronaldinho and Cristiano and Neymar inspired me as a child. I watched these Gods in amazement on stolen Wifi, then I went out to the concrete pitch to try to imitate their genius. 

如果你覺得我只是個小丑，那你不懂我的人生故事。孩提時候，小羅、C羅、內馬爾的足球藝術就啟發了我。我透過偷接上的WiFi見證這些表現界的天神們，隨後我離家前往水泥球場，試著臨摹他們的天才之舉。

Even if you are born in hell, that is a small gift from heaven. 

即便你生自地獄，也會有一份來自天堂的小禮物。

When people ask, “What’s the point of your style? What message are you sending?” 

當人們問起：「你的風格最重點的是什麼？你想傳遞什麼訊息？」

Brother, I am sending a message home. 

老兄，我在傳遞訊息，給我的家。

Even if you are born in hell, that is a small gift from heaven. 
- Antony

即便你生自地獄，也會有一份來自天堂的小禮物。—安東尼

In Europe, where there is bread on the table every night, sometimes people forget that football is a game. A beautiful game, but still a game. It is life that is serious, at least for those of us born in the little hells of the world. 

在桌上夜夜都有麵包的歐洲，有時候人們會忘了足球本質上是場遊戲。美麗奪目的遊戲，但終究是場遊戲。人生才是真該認真以待的，至少對生於這世界中「小地獄」的我們。

I always say that wherever I go in life, no matter what happens to me, I represent the place that taught me everything. Without my home and my people, none of this matters. On my boots, before every match, I write myself a little reminder.

我總說無論我這輩子前往何方、無論我經歷何事，我都代表那個教會我一切的地方。沒有了我的家人與那些人，它們都不可能存在。

每場比賽之前，我都會在我的球靴上複寫一個小小的提醒。

“FAVELA.”

「貧民窟。」

When I tie my laces, I remember. I remember everything. 

繫上鞋帶，一切就被銘記。一切我都銘記。

This is my story. If you still don’t understand me, or if you still think that I am a clown, then I will just point to the ink on my arm….

這是我的人生故事，如果你還是不了解我，或是你仍然覺得我是個小丑，那讓我指向我臂膀上的刺青文字給你看。

Whoever comes from the favela knows a little bit of what I’ve been through.

來自貧民窟的人，就能窺見我的求仁得仁。

Those words speak for me. And for us all.

言盡於此，這些是為了我們所有人。

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